Why I want to be a RN

 

Being an LPN is a very good accomplishment since I've always wanted to work in the medical field and be a positive influence in people's lives, especially in the lives of those who need it the most. The past couple of years have been very exciting for me and after two years of intense practical experience in the field, I want to do more. Although the LPN degree is a proud achievement, I feel limited in a lot of ways. Often times at my current job, I have to defer duties to other more qualified nurses. I feel at times a bit useless for not being able to help a patient at my full capacity.  

 

There are numerous reasons why I want to be an RN. First, I feel there are so many more things I need to learn in the nursing field. An RN degree will provide me with essentially a lot of in-depth knowledge of how best to be a nurse. I always want to be more knowledgeable about what I do. I want to know so much more clinically about how to care for a patient. I have this insatiable appetite to learn new things and new ways of doing things. It is one thing to know how to administer 3 mg of medications rather than 4 mg to a patient, but it is a totally different thing to understand why. Right now, more qualified nurses tell me what to do. Which is fine; however I’ve reached the point where I need to move further into the knowledge of the nursing field.

 

Second, because of the slow pace of the economy, companies are more interested in hiring nurses with more medical education and the RN degree is what they mostly look after in an individual wanting to fully exploit their professional dreams. There is no secret about it, if we can do the things we love while getting a higher financial and economic reward for it, that will lead to personal and professional fulfillment. Caring for people is faculty I was born with. My growing up in a family where my grandmother was a revered nurse in the community ingrained in me that desire to create a smile on somebody’s heart during the hard times of sickness. Nonetheless, the economic challenges I face encourage me to have to earn more to take care of my family, which is my first priority. My children are currently attending highly performant private Christian schools with tuition costs that are clear challenges to me and my husband. We don’t want to trade a solid academic and Christian-oriented education for our children for anything. My parents were not as educated as I am and yet they invested everything they had even what they did not have to give me an education they didn’t have themselves. As a family heritage, I have to continue the trend of arming my children with educational opportunities I didn’t have myself at their age. The world is coming more depraved morally and everything is becoming prohibitively expensive. Being an RN will allow me to not only fulfill this urge to help but will also increase my employability in this competitive market so I can earn enough money to sustain or ameliorate my family’s lifestyle.

 

Third, an RN degree will offer me a variety of opportunities to go farther, since it is the true foundation of higher degrees. I’ve always had the feeling, as an LPN, that I’m doing something short of my academic abilities. Being an RN will clearly put me in a position where I feel I’ve succeeded academically with the chance to really feel proud of myself. I have two brothers who are medical doctors and several sisters and cousins who are experienced nurses. I’ve always been looked up to in the family as a go-getter who always long for more when most would be satisfied. I feel the weight of those expectations. Pushing my education further is more of a family duty rather than a personal preference.

 

And most important of all, when I was growing up, I witnessed how my grand-mother made such a powerful impact on people’s lives as a nurse. A few years ago, my mother was diagnosed with and died of cancer. As sad as this event was for me, it has been the wind beneath my wings. I always have the regretful sentiment that I was somewhat useless in helping the family. So being an RN will equip me better so I can make a difference in a patient’s life through positive attitude, empathy and tender care. 

 

I still remember as if it was yesterday, how nurses were taking care of my mom. Had it not been for their service, my mother would have certainly died before her time. I want to be the one to make other families feel the same way toward nurses and an RN degree is a necessary next step for me. It is more than just a career move to me. It’s a fulfilling chance to feel useful to life on this earth. 

From Haiti to the USA

From Haiti to the USA

I was born and raised in Haiti. Growing up in Haiti was a significant experience. When I was a child, I used to horse-ride with my father every weekend. Those moments are unforgettable. The beauty of Haiti lies in that one does not need a lot of money to live a good life and to experience it. In the evening after all of my homework was done, I had the freedom to play with my friends and to enjoy nature. In Haiti, a tropical island in the Caribbean basin, there are no seasons; it was breezy and cool summer all year long.

 

Shortly after my mother died, I was looking for a new start. I did not know where to begin. One day, one of my older siblings explored the idea with me to move to the USA. That would enable me, she said, to soften the pain of my mother’s passing away.

I used to come to visit some of the States, but I did not like the life there. I always saw myself living

 in Haiti, because I was afraid to leave my native land, my family and friends and away from all of

 those who really love me to come to a new country where the value system is so different and where

 money seems to be the only reason people breathe. My brother is one I listen to the most. His

 opinions have a strong influence on my decisions. He convinced me to leave everything and

 everyone I knew behind for a new life in America.

 
I remember the day I left Haiti for effectively . It was December twenty third. When I got to JFK

airport in New York, it was so cold that my hands were shaking and my ears were freezing. Already,

 I was home sick.

 

 I lived with my two older sisters, Kerline and Yadlie. They were very supportive. I was doing my

 best to adapt to the new life and to adopt this new country as my own.

 

For an immigrant who had a decent life in my native country, the first years of living in the

USA were humiliating experience. I become exposed to prejudices and even racism, something that

 was not part of my previous world. People judge me based on your accent when speaking English as

if that was something negative; they look down on you based on where you come from to make me

regret you left your country. I suffered all of that. And despite the tears and the moments of anger

about my decision to have come here, I always stayed focused. I had to move on from my previous

life in Haiti. I had to move on past those sickening prejudicial treatments because I knew who I was

 and I would not allow other people who knew nothing about me to redefine me.

 

I saw many who were born in the USA, a land that offers so many opportunities, not accomplishing

anything with their lives. I realized that success is an attitude that had nothing to do with where you

 came from. I decided to push myself to the limit of my abilities. I knew I shoul be hard on my self in

a positive way, not settling for less but always wanting to go further, I would make it. One thing I like

 the most about the United States is the fact that anything is possible if you really put your mind, your

 heart and your efforts to it. There is not one dream that is out of reach.  I knew I had to stay focused

 and not let myself be distracted by the negative elements of my surroundings. Even to this day, I am

still working hard and never lose sight of my dreams. I know one day, all of them will come true as

 had many already.

How my husband and I met

 

 

My husband and I met in an incredible way. One of my older sisters introduced him to me. We used to see each other in church and talk occasionally on the phone on a purely friendly basis. We spent weeks like this. He was supposed to help me with information regarding the school system here in the US. I lost his phone number and out of pride, even though I would see him twice a week in the church, I couldn’t ask him for the number again. We simply didn't communicate for weeks.

Then through my sister, we reconnected again. We started chatting again.On occasions we talked on the phone about school and other things. As we began to get closer as friends, the dialogues became longer and more substantial. We timidly started to talk about ourselves and before we knew it, we couldn’t let go of the phone once a conversation began. We kept on going on for hours. We started to have intimate feelings for each other. But his feelings were stronger. 

From the beginning of our mutual friendship, most in my family did not like him. They thought he was a player based on his past experiences and the name he had made for himself among the girls of the town.

Shortly after, we started dating. I called the closest family members, including my father, to tell them about my new relationship with Bob. I remember it was a Sunday evening. When I broke the news to them, it was like a volcano that erupted. My entire family was against what they’d heard. Despite all the dull and alarming predictions, and all the negativity around me, I stood by my decision.

After a short time dating, we were ready to get really serious since we loved each other so much. When we decided to get married, some people thought our marriage would never last. They were predicting all sorts of negative stuff happening to us. Obviously some were jealous about our relationship. But all of that made me love him more because he was so different from what people were saying. I felt like if I let go, those same people saying I was going  nowhere with Bob would jump on him and take him away. They opened my eyes and I opened my heart even more. Strangely enough, they gave me more reasons to love him even more and more.

Finally we got married. We had approximately four hundred guests at our wedding reception night. It was a beautiful day on 07/03/2004. I remember when he saw me with my beautiful white gown dress, our eyes met and we smiled. It was the most important and special day in my life. Because we were defeating with every step toward each other in the church all the bad predictions people had said. We had stayed strong, positive and clung to each other despite the tornadoes around us.  

For our first wedding anniversary, we flew to the Bahamas for one week. It was a time of joy, of victory, of celebration. It was also a time for prayer giving thanks to God and a time of profound thinking about our short past and incredibly long future. We were happy to have overcome all the obstacles. We did not let people decide on the most important thing in our lives. Now we’ve been married for more than ten years. Our marriage is stronger than ever. I’m mostly thankful to God because he gave me a friend before anything, then a husband.

How my life changed with children

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How my life changed with children

When I was young, I did not  have any obligations. I had no worries about what was coming next or tomorrow. My life was easy from that point of view. I was committed to enjoying life with no stress or pressure. I had the freedom of being me and to do what I liked to do. I spent more time with my friends. I never scheduled when I hung out with my friends and family. I was untouchably free. I was in my best shape physically and mentally. I met my husband at the time. We both were young and beautiful.

 

After two years of seeing each other, we got married. Then shortly after, I had my first child “Dora”. She was beautiful, she looked like an angel. Progressively my life started to change. I couldn’t sleep at night. She was mostly awake at night. It didn’t matter what time I went to bed or the amount of sleep I had, I was the last one to sleep and the first to wake up in the morning with constant breaks in between in order to quiet my daughter who was crying for food.

 The responsibilities were enormous. And after about three years, my son was born. His name is Daylin. My entire life radically changed. But in the best possible way I could have imagined. I was blessed with two healthy children. I was a full-time mother and wife. I spent almost all my time cleaning, doing laundry, preparing food, and a lot more. Despite the fatigue and the stress that brought, I was nonetheless happy. I felt so complete when I accompanied Dora to her extra-curricular activities such as dance, gymnastic and piano classes. And when Daylin was playing soccer or the drums, my joy always took over my fatigue.

 

Being a mother and wife is challenging. I have barely enough time left for me personally. Sometimes I even forget about my own life. I have to take care of their basic physical and emotional needs and spend quality time with them. Nonetheless, whatever the sacrifice, it is worth it for it takes all that and even more to be a great mother and wife.  My focus now is so on their well-being that each of my children’s needs becomes my priority. I didn’t know having children required so much.

 

Now I’m adapting and coping with everything. It is still an evolving process as I am redefining myself and re-adjust my priorities on a daily basis. Having children is both exciting and challenging. It’s a lifetime commitment. I have to be there for them for all seasons and every occasion. It is a heavy yet fulfilling responsibility.

 

Now Dora is nine years old. She is in fifth grade. Daylin is seven years old, he is in second grade. I thank God every day for blessing my husband and me with two children. They are our treasures; our best gifts from heaven and they are irreplaceable. I pray more for them than myself. I hope one day they understand the sacrifices I endured for them so they can do the same for their own children when the time comes.

 

 

My mother's passing away

My mother was 6.1 feet tall. She was a very elegant woman. She was a strong woman. Her vivacity still remains a strong mark in my life. My mother was 55 years old when she started having stomach pain. At that time, she was trying to lose weight. She wanted to keep her body in shape after raising six adult children. She thought her stomach pain was due to gas or minor intestinal malaises not requiring serious medical attention. She tried all kinds of natural medicine, something very common in our traditional Haitian culture: herbal teas, over-the-counter Gas medications in search of a relief. But nothing worked.

One early morning, she started vomiting. What was coming out had a dark brown color. At that point, she made the decision to see her doctor who wanted to see her immediately. We got to the doctor’s office as fast as possible. The doctor prescribed blood work, CBC, and a computerized tomography (CT) scan. My mother’s pain was getting worse every day and the symptoms became more visible. The CT scan results indicated she was diagnosed with stage IV cancer; which means the cancer had irreversibly spread to distant areas of her body. She was given six months to live.

I remembered when she first got the news. Her face looked worried and angry. I held her hands and I said to her everything would be fine. But I was dying inside, hopeless, somewhat angry too and asking God “why us?” Life suddenly seemed to have no meaning. I was in a mental blackout. Nothing made sense.

Afterwards, I would always accompany her to all her doctor appointments and was present during all the procedures. My mother’s last two months were the hardest for me. Seeing how she was suffering, the pain, the unbelievable rapid weight and hair loss, the degradation of her body, her loss of smile, her loss of energy and will to fight on amidst so many family tears; and yet not being able to do anything to reverse the course of her misfortune. She would remain awake most of the night, which made her always exhausted physically and mentally. When you know your hour has come and the countdown is approaching its end, life can be brutal on the mind and body. She knew she all of her dreams were shattered and over.


 

Being used to her strong fighting spirit, it was so hard to witness her like that. Sometimes I tried to put talk her out of her situation, out of her illness, out of her last sighs. I’d take her to the park, to the movies, to a nice restaurant. I’d throw here and there spontaneous jokes to pull a smile out of her lifeless face. But it was so temporary, it’s like it never happened. The pain and the idea of death were part of every breath she took.

As a believer, my mother taught if it was God’s desire to heal her, she would have been already freed from her cancer. At that point, she totally gave up. She had crossed the point of no return. She accepted her fatal fate. It was like she was already gone. She was counting down the minutes as if they were each the last one. But I never stopped praying though, I still believed a miracle was possible.

During one last trip to the hospital, I put my head on her chest and she said to me: “you will never stop being a child”. She said that because I always play on her chest. About half an hour after, she gave her last breath.

Even though we knew this was coming, I was still devastated and sad. I felt so much injustice.  But as time passed by, I progressively accepted the fact that it was normal for all of us to live and leave this earth. My wounds started to heal with every passing day. I then realized my mother was in a much better place where there is no more suffering and pain. It’s been twelve years since my mother passed away, nonetheless everything is still fresh in my memory.